Daytime TV Sucks and Snuggle Bears Are Evil
by jasper03
Summary: A trip to the hospital reminds Dean of a personal mission. Dean and Sam pay a visit to a special Springtime Fresh Teddy. High adventure,a top-secret mission to Snuggles' Headquarters and the evil daytime commercial teddy that started it all.Crackfic/Updat
1. The H Word

******Disclaimer: Sadly Dean and Sam Winchester and the Impala are not mine. I only own my mistakes and don't even get paid for them. Gotta be honest I feel like I've said this before. Wait...yeah I did...huh. Well I certainly don't want to own twice as many mistakes! **

**A/N: Hey readers, I love reviews, even if they aren't full of fluff. Just don't throw them too hard at me...I bruise easily. I love reviews because they are very helpful and can help me decide what happens next. **

* * *

**D****aytime TV Sucks and Snuggle Bears Are Evil**

Sam and Dean were tending to a poltergeist in Washington. It was _supposed_ to be easy. But like many things in the boys' lives, everything had to be on a severe level of difficulty. Just as they were finishing off the poltergeist, Dean was propelled across the room at an alarming speed, making an even more alarming _thunk_ when his body hit the bookshelf. What was it with the bookshelves? Sam was left to finish off the poltergeist by himself before he could assess his brother's injuries.

"Hey Dean! Wake up man!" Sam rolled his brother over and saw blood rolling down his temple. Shit. He'd bet anything his brother was concussed. Probably had internal injuries also.

"Man, you gotta get up. I'm gonna have to take you to the hospital." That seemed to do it, his brother stirred.

Dean's brows furrowed as he heard his brother say the H-word. God, he hated that place. The fake insurance, the fugly mean nurses, the occasional catheters and the fact that his father died in one only weeks ago. The one place that people were brought to be saved and they couldn't save their father. Dean knew it was his fault his dad was dead, it didn't matter. He hated hospitals anyway.

"Open your eyes. Look at me Dean." For some reason Dean wouldn't open in his eyes. He began to toss and turn mumbling that he was blind.

He couldn't see Sam right that second because his eyes were closed…he thought. What if his eyes weren't closed?

"Let me see your eyes." Dean threw his hands over his eyes and began to freak out about something. Sam couldn't tell what, but he knew that if he didn't quit he'd give himself a heart-attack. He wished he could see his brother's hazel eyes, and then he'd know if he was alright.

He tried in earnest to open his eyes. _Oh God! My eyes! I can't see. I'm really blind. How can I protect Sam if I am blind? _Dean began to hyperventilate and blackness consumed him for the second time in ten minutes.

Very confused Sam sat a moment with his brother's head in his lap. What caused the panic-attack? He remembered when they were kids Dean would fight tooth and nail to stay out of the hospital, but this was just ridiculous. Mustering his strength, Sam picked his brother up in a fireman's hold, praying he was not causing any further injury or pain and carried him to the Impala.

Once the passed out sibling was safely inside the car, Sam got in to the driver's seat. Then he remembered he needed keys. He reached for Dean's jean pocket. Not there. The other had turned up with the same result. He had no other choice but to wake his sibling. If at all possible. He didn't like it when Dean was out cold, especially when he was concussed. But the man simply would not stir.

"Dean, wake up. I need your keys. Dean." Gently he tapped his brother's face a few times. He then grabbed Dean's hand and tugged it like he used to when they were children and Sam needed his big brother in the middle of the night or was just plain upset. Sam never knew he did this, it was just instinct. Little brother was scared and big brother needed to fix it.

Dean knew that feel tugging on his hand. It had been years since he'd felt it, but as an older brother, he was not allowed to forget these things. Just in case. He snapped back into his big brother mode. Opening his eyes, he found himself looking into almost exact mirrors of his own eyes. Sam's eyes.

"Sammy?"

"Thank God! I was worried-"

Dean frowned and cut him off. "I was blind."

"No Dean", he couldn't fight the smile tugging at his lips, "you had your hands over your eyes."

Dean looked like he was having trouble focusing.

"Say, Sammy? Is there a shape shifter in the car?"

Yup, Dean was definitely concussed. Sam needed to get him help, like as of ten minutes ago. He then remembered he needed keys to do that.

"Dean, your hurt pretty bad. I need to know what pocket your keys are in. We have to go to the hospital."

Dean cringed. There was that H-word again. Maybe he should wash Sammy's mouth out with soap when they got back to the motel.

"Keys?" Man, Sam just would not give it up. Dean thought a second. What jacket was he wearing? Oh yeah the one with like twenty hidden pockets.

"Dean, if you could just tell me which pocket-"

Dean began to laugh hard. He was unable to stop himself. It was just so damn funny! What pocket had he put his baby's keys in? He didn't know, but he was going to enjoy watching Sam try to find them.

__

Oh, God. He's lost it. He's gonna tell me to starting digging through his pockets and I'm gonna find something really gross.

His brother kept the weirdest things on his person. Sticky hand toys, which he used to smack Sam with when he was trying to rest and gum wrappers complete with already been chewed gum. Even objects covered in monster goop and never cleaned. Sam hated that, his brother was definitely the literal tense of a pig.

"Just start digging Sammy and watch the merchandise." Dean was coming back in full swing now. He had a little brother he had to protect.

"Is there- is there anything gross in your pockets dude?"

"Probably." Dean smiled. He loved messing with his kid brother like that. He was pretty sure the only things in his pockets were the keys, the EMF, and a compass.

Sam searched silently, finally finding the keys in the fifth pocket he searched. He started up the Impala and took off.

* * *

The Impala was glad Sam had found her keys; it was the only way she would work. She damned herself for having such a weakness. Dean never seemed to care though, weakness or no, he loved her. Loved her more than Dad ever did and more than Sam. The Winchester men had always done their utmost to take care of her. Giving her gas, washing her, even stroking her ego had become apart of her up keeping. After all the boys had done for her, the least she could do was give them rides to the places they needed to go.

Yeah she was in a wreck, but it wasn't the Winchesters' fault and yeah Dean had hit her. Like seventeen times, but who was counting anyway? He fixed her and she felt just like she did when she rolled off the lot all those years ago when Dad brought her home to meet Mom. He was a good man, Baby trusted him with her body, and soul, just like Sam did.

She knew the younger hunter was very worried about her owner. Baby was worried too. As much as she was a friend and a home to those boys, they were friends and home to her as well. She did not want her owner to be hurt or worse, die. With Sam's direction, the Impala let out a throaty roar and tore off down the road.


	2. Hey There, Good Lookin'

**Update: Just fixing minor mistakes 'cause my friends can't find them until after I post. Thanks guys, you are so helpful (even if you don't snap into action right away). Just don't quit your day jobs, 'k? I love you all!**

**P.S. Reviews are like donuts and we all know donuts are a substitute for love!**

**P.S.S. I still don't own a darn thing! Except maybe the fantasies involving the Winchesters....**

* * *

**Hey There Good Lookin'**

Dean sat in the car quietly for a few moments, he watched the scenery go by in flashes and thought for a second that he may be sick. He then considered where he was and sat back in his seat, deciding he really did not want to be sick in his beloved Impala and sucked it up. This was going to be a long ride to…where were they going again?

Sam was almost thrilled out of his damn mind when he heard Dean start up a conversation. He had been really worried, but now his older brother seemed to be getting back to normal, by their standards at least.

"That was some poltergeist, huh?" The deep rumble of Dean's voice cut the silence.

Sam smiled. "Yeah, it was." He answered back. Looking over he caught his brother's glare before he turned back to the window. What now? Was Dean going to rake him over the coals 'cause he got thrown into a bookshelf? In Sam's defense, he had no idea the poltergeist was sneaking up on Dean or else he would have tossed a warning his brother's way.

"Shh. Sam, it's rude to interrupt."

"Huh?" Sam glanced over and saw his brother talking to, well, nothing. He hoped pushing eighty wouldn't get him pulled over 'cause that hospital was sounding better and better to Sam.

"Hey there good lookin'! Anyone ever tell you what a handsome devil you are? Yes? What was I saying?"

His reflection! Dean was talking to himself. Sam noted how vain Dean was, this was going to be a long ride.

"Oh yeah, the poltergeist. That was one mean son of a bitch! Yeah Sammy and I nearly had that old bastard and--you have met Sammy right? Good. Anyway, this poltergeist had been bothering this nice family. Well, the daughter was a bit handsy, if you know what I mean…Yeah, yeah. So he threw me across the room and I hit the bookshelf. You ever been thrown into a bookshelf? Well, let me tell you!"

Sam shook his head at his brother, barely keeping it together. This was so weird. Sam didn't think he had ever heard his brother chatter on so. His big brother obviously got hit in the head harder than he thought. Sam's mind began to wander, trying to recall where the video cam was. They used it last week…

It was in the backseat! Now if only Sam could reach back there…One-handedly, the younger Winchester directed the Impala as he swung his other arm behind him. His fingers made purchase on the prize. He knew if Dean was in his right mind, he would kill Sam. However, fortunately for him Dean was out of his mind and by the looks of it wouldn't be back for a few more hours. He almost felt bad about what he was about to do. Almost.

With his thumb, the young hunter flipped the video cam to on and knocked the cap off. He positioned it on the dash angled at the madman riding shotgun. Blackmail was so sweet!

"Bookshelves really hurt. Smacked my head and my ribs into them. No, I'm not cryin'! My eyes are just leaky. Honest! My hair does look pretty good, huh? Just let it air dry. And for maximum effect… I dunno if I should tell you. Ya might rat me out to Sammy and I'd never live it down."

Leaning in slightly toward his brother, Sam was intent on hearing his brother's secret.

"Alright, fine. I trust you. My real secret is using Sam's fruity, girly shampoo. I know, but if I don't use too much, he can't tell."

Sam could not believe his luck. Come to think of it, Dean did kind of smell like coconut. The hospital could be seen now and Sam was relieved. As funny as the situation was as of current, it would not be funny if Dean had internal injuries.

"Dean, we are getting close to the hospital."

Dean turned to his little brother scowling; hopefully it would be the last time he would have to say this. "Sam, you know I hate that word."

* * *

The Impala quieted her engine when Sam took her key out of the ignition. She knew the drill now. Baby could feel the younger Winchester remove himself from the driver's seat. Sam walked around her passing in front of her headlights and opened her passenger side door.

Her beloved owner was now carefully being lifted from his shotgun seat by his charge. Now all Baby had to do was wait. She had gotten good at waiting; tonight would be no different from the others. Dean rebuilt her. She would wait while the doctors rebuilt him.

* * *

Finally, Sam got his hulking, hallucinating brother out of the car and in through the hospital doors. He left the camera in the Impala figuring whatever Dean did in the hospital waiting room would never be able to top his antics in the car.

Sam went to the desk haphazardly holding Dean around his waist. Dean was not making it easy for Sam. His brother was hardly holding up his weight, slinking and sliding further into Sam's arms.

Using an old trick their dad taught them, the taller hunter had made sure Dean's appearance looked worse than he probably was, knowing full well that gushing head wounds immediately went to the top of the list.

"Oh dear!" Exclaimed the little old lady at the desk.

"Here, baby. You just fill this out and we'll move him to first on the list." Sam nodded and secretly smiled in his head. Their father had taught them well and he may have just saved Dean if his suspicion of internal injury was right. He hoped he wasn't.

Being sure to tell Dean his fake name before he was lost to the world, Sam finished the papers and dug through his wallet looking through various cards. He knew Dean had the matching set to his cards in his own wallet. Sam quickly filled out the forms and got up to turn them in.

Dean waited for his little brother to come back. _Dean Grove? Couldn't we be a little more creative? Like Bruce Wayne._ Yeah, next time Dean was picking the names.

The younger brother returned the file paper and went over some insurance information with the desk clerk. He returned to his seat next to his brother. Not but a minute later Dean was asleep on his shoulder.

Dean hurt all over, he just wanted to sleep. He leaned his head on Sammy's shoulder. Sam wouldn't mind. What were little brothers for, if not to make cushy pillows? He would just rest his eyes for a minute…

Sam looked down at his big brother's face. He looked years younger when he slept. Sam pulled him closer to make Dean more comfortable. After everything Dean had ever done for him, it was the very least he could do.

Twenty minutes later Dean was called back and Sam began his waiting. He hated the waiting, but it didn't last long. A fully scrubbed figure came through the door Dean went through and Sam braced himself for the news. As suspected, it was bad.


	3. Stupidity Isn't a Crime, You Can Go

****

**_update_: I know people normally alert an update in their summary, but I had too much fun writing that summary. Screwing it up is not an option for my crazy OCD-self!**

**Author's thanks:everyone who has reviewed. I love reviews, they absolutely make my day! And thank you for PMing me, love those as well.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything or anyone. Just borrowing the boys and will give them back to Kripke in next to perfect condition. What? You thought I wasn't going to give them severe ego and body whumpings?**

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**Chapter Three: Stupidity Isn't a Crime, You Can Go**

A petite green-eyed nurse walked through the doors, his brother had just gone through not but twenty minutes ago. She was looking straight at him with a look Sam could not quite place.

"You are the one that showed up with the concussion patient in the black classic, right?"

"Yeah. It's an Impala. My brother's car. Is he okay?" Sam was genuinely worried now. Dean had to be okay. It was just a bookcase and a poltergeist. That was easy work. If the poltergeist hadn't already been taken care of, Sam would have gone back to shoot it for harming his big brother.

The nurse's gaze shifted to the floor, obviously, she was new. Old hospital staff get to the point and moves on to the next person like cattle. Sam was glad he had a new nurse; he might hit someone if a seasoned doctor gave him the news as if they see it everyday. Those people didn't have the heart and sincerity just-out-of-school nurses did.

"I'm sorry. I have been asked to tell you…"

* * *

_Hope Sam figures out he parked me in an ambulance zone. If my Daddy finds out, Sam's gonna be polishing me for a week!_

That actually sounded nice to Baby. Driving on America's back roads really did a number on her body. Her thoughts turned over to what could possibly be taking so long. She's seen worse injuries on the boys.

Baby heard footsteps approach her. _If it's another freak that wants to look under my hood, I'm gonna break down! I know I'm a masterpiece, but do you touch the Mona Lisa?_

"Well, well, well. What do we have here? A lowly piece of crap car parked in the ambulance zone. I'll give 'em ten minutes to move this heap or I'm havin' it towed."

The disembodied voice started to radio a second party about her status. "Got a junk heap down here in a no parking zone. Find the driver and tell him he's got ten minutes or I'm gonna have it hauled off. Stupid idiots just think they can leave their shit lyin' around."

The Impala felt an unfamiliar body lean up against her. All she could tell was it wasn't one of the brothers.

"Ugly thing." She got a good view of the verbal abuser in her side view mirror. _Fugly bastard._

The security guard, as Baby could now see, was lighting up a cigarette. _Unbelievable! He works right in a hospital, does he not see was happens to people who do that?_ The guard tapped the cigarette on Baby's hood and muttered, "Piece of shit, nothing like a Mercedes."

Baby's windshield wiper fluid leaked a little. That man really knew how to hurt a girl's feelings.

_Sammy, please come and help me. Dean can't do it right now. You have to help me. I'm your home. You love me still, right?_

* * *

_"Oh Shit!"_ The news Sam had received would make a permanent dent in his life. He didn't know how much more he could take tonight. Some days it really just did not pay to get up out of bed. He didn't know how but he had to fix this.

The little nurse jumped back. She should have listened to mother; she should have become a veterinarian. Rabid animals seemed less frightening than this giant man.

"S-Sir?" The man stared down at her and his features softened. He smiled nicely and his eyes seemed to light up. The same eyes she saw on the concussion patient when she inserted the I.V. into his arm.

"I'm sorry miss, I never meant to scare you. That car out there is my brother's pride and joy. I can't believe I forgot about her." He ran his fingers through his hair nervously. The handsome giant looked at her once more. He had puppy dog eyes!

"Is there a way you can tell them to put a hold on the tow until I get out there?"

The nurse shook her head. She had younger siblings and knew how to ward herself from the puppy dog eyes. It was a rare skill indeed. Only a handful of older siblings in the world could do it. "I'm sorry you picked a bad night to park in an ambulance zone. The security guard on tonight's shift is Bruno. He's a big hard ass. If you had parked there on a Monday thru Thursday, you probably would have been fine. The other guard would have taken pity on the situation."

"Thanks miss." Sam looked at the nurse wide-eyed. How did the eye thing not work? Everyone fell for it. Dean especially. Boy if his brother ever found out how she did that…

She watched as the taller, younger brother of her concussion patient dashed down the hall and out the door.

* * *

Sam scolded himself for forgetting about Dean's baby. The Impala had all their cards, IDs and not to mention the complete arsenal in the trunk. Most important, the Impala was their home. He had come this close to losing everything the brothers owned, save the shirts on their backs. His brother would not be learning about this if he could help it.

Quickly approaching the Impala, Sam saw a hospital security guard near her. No,_ leaning_ against her. Sam gritted his teeth and silenced the growl trying to escape his throat.

"Hey! Hey, I'm here. I'll move the car."

Lazily the security guard turned toward Sam. That girl was right, he looked very butch. Sam was still taller by a long shot though.

"I don't think so boy, see as of thirty-three seconds ago, your ten minutes were up." The guard smiled at Sam evilly.

That son of a bitch! That's my brother's car! _My brother's car._ "Sir, I'm here now. Please just let me move the car. She's my brother's. I parked here because I was in a hurry to get him into the hospital. I was so worried about him I forgot about where I parked."

The bastard just looked over at him and tapped his cigarette on the car's hood. Sam could swear he snorted.

That could ruin the paint! Dean just fixed her! He had better get his fat ass off the car now! Sam could feel his rage rising. This person had blatantly disrespected his brother's car.

Sam rose to his full menacing height and stepped toward the security guard.

"The nurse in there said you are Bruno, right?"

Bruno looked a little concerned for his well-being. He nodded.

"This car is an absolute piece of art and you are leaning against it, pretending it's an oversized ash tray. You wouldn't go into a Florence museum and rub your grubby hands on a piece of work done by Da Vinci, would you Bruno?"

The guard shook his head timidly.

"Then why would you think leaning your disgusting self against a classic '67 Impala and defiling the paint job with your health hazard on a stick is okay?"

"I-I-"

"And another thing, before you start towing people's cars preemptively, you should really find out who you are dealing with." Sam really didn't have to do what he was about to do, but did anyway. It made him feel better.

Sam grabbed the man by the scruff of the neck and dragged him away from the car. He gave him a slight shove and the man stumbled.

"I don't think we'll have anymore problems will we?"

Bruno shook his head.

"And you're gonna let me move the car, right?" Sam waited for Bruno to nod.

"Good. I'm glad we understand each other. Since stupidity isn't a crime, you can go." Sam growled as he passed the man on his was to the driver's side door.

As he searched his pockets for the keys, Sam could hear the guard's radio. "You still need that tow Bruno?"

"N-no. The '67 Impala was moved in time."

"Wow! A '67 Impala? Bet it was a real beauty!" Afraid to say otherwise in the giant's presence he quickly agreed. He waited until the classic rolled away before he radioed the front desk again.

"Say, Vinny? I think I'm going home."

"Never thought I'd see the day you caught sick!"

_Never thought I'd find myself in crossfires with a man that scary…_

* * *

Sam didn't know how he just got away with that. All he really knew was that man was on his "shit list" now.

The Impala purred happily as he found a new resting place for her. God, his brother would never let him live it down if he had seen or heard any of that. After all the teasing Sam did to his brother about his unhealthy relationship with his car…Nope Sam would just have to make sure Dean never heard about this one.

Once he parked the Impala safely away from all other cars and danger, Sam checked the seats and floor making sure no weapons were carelessly lying around. Once satisfied, he locked up and began his walk back to the waiting room.

The young hunter forgot only one thing…He never did see the blinking red reminder on the dash. He may never tell Dean about the parking problem, but the video recorder had different plans.

* * *

Dean woke up in extreme pain. His whole damn body hurt. Opening his eyes, he scanned the room.

Why was he in a hospital? Sam knew how he felt about them. Speaking of the Psychic Wonder, where was he?

"Sam?" Dean was surprised at how meek the sound was that just came out of his mouth. How embarrassing!

_Ok,_ he thought. _I'm gonna try that again and not sound pathetic. _"Sam!"

Still no Sam. _Fine I'll turn the TV on. I will just rot my brains out watching daytime television while Sam sits around somewhere in this God-forsaken hospital with his thumb up his ass! Stupid little brothers. Never come when they are called…_

Soon Dean drifted off to sleep sometime between Judge Judy and the news.

* * *

_Somewhere in Dean's dreamland, he could hear a maniacal little laugh. He opened his eyes only to find himself in a meadow. He didn't recall him and Sammy going on a hunt here._

_He scanned his surroundings there were mountains and forests and waterfalls. It was beautiful. Dean was slightly embarrassed he could not have found a more masculine word to describe it, but there just wasn't. He had never seen a bluer sky and never smelled air so fresh._

_Deeming it safe, he took a walk assessing his surroundings a little more crucially. Something this good did not belong in his life. It hurt to think it, but he knew deep down it was true. Sammy deserved the good stuff, not him. _

_Dean walked further, noticing a happy little rainstorm in the distance. It wasn't wild and threatening. Just light rain in the valley during spring._

_This all seemed awfully familiar to Dean. He heard the laugh again, this time behind him and he turned. There was nothing there!_

_What could possibly--_

* * *

"Dean! Come on Sleeping Beauty, wake up!"

There was that hand again. The tugging one on his own. He knew that hand, couldn't mistake it or the urgency in the small tugs.

Dean was snapped back to reality. "Saaa-uuum!"

Wow! That sounded pathetic on so many levels. He cleared his throat. "Sammy, where'd you go off to?"

He still sounded like a whiny bitch. Well, damn it! He felt like he just made friends with a cement mixer, which gave him every right to sound like a wuss.

"You may not have figured it out yet, but I am human. And human's need to eat…"

"Alright, smartass." Secretly Dean laughed at the comment. His brother was snapping back into their old routine. They had been so close before Sam left him for Stanford. Dean would just have to polish the kid up and he would be good as new.

"There a reason you still have your eyes closed?"

_Huh?_ Dean hadn't even noticed his eyes were closed. He only had to hear Sam and he could picture his little brother there beside him.

"No, guess not. Although you are pretty scar--" Dean opened his eyes and nearly had a heart attack. Sam's face was two inches from his.

Sam sat back in his chair and bark out a laugh.

The laugh reminded Dean of something. Something important. He just couldn't put his finger on it. He glared at his brother until the younger hunter closed his mouth.

"What happened?"

"Tell me what you remember." Sam didn't know whether he should tease his brother about what happened in the car or not. Probably not yet. He would save it for sometime special.

"My head and a bookcase became well acquainted--"

"You always told me books were hazardous to your health. I never thought you were being honest!"

Dean smirked. He had taught the kid well. "Why Sammy, I'm so glad you finally decided to listen to big brother. It warms my heart to see your concern."

Sam smiled. If only Dean knew how concerned he truly had been.

The older hunter saw "the look" cross his brothers face. The "don't ever scare me like that again" look. It was one of Dean's least favorite looks he could receive from his brother. Next to the "puppy dog eyes" and the "caught ya with your hand in the cookie jar" look.

"Anyway, I was blind and I think you used me as a pillow in the waiting room."

"I told you already, you had your hand over your eyes and _you_ used _me_ as a pillow."

Dean flushed slightly. "Did not!"

He remembered now. He did cuddle up to his brother in the waiting room. Well there went any potential dates with any nurses here. Now that he was officially labeled gay, he wouldn't be surprised if one of them came in right then to ask him his opinion on what color curtains they should pick out.

He groaned. Snuggling in public! Wait! Snuggling… Was that the important thing he was supposed to remember? Maybe it was pillows. No.

Sam saw his brother stare off into space with a confused look on his face. He poked his brother's arm like he used to as a child when Dean wasn't paying attention to him.

"Hey! Thinkin' hard or hardly thinkin'?"

Dean looked at his brother and a smile began to curl at his lips and only got wider until a laugh burst from them. Sammy was coming back in full swing now! God, how he loved this kid!

"How about we spring outta here Sammy?" Dean looked hopefully to his sibling. Sammy could work his damned puppy dog eyes and they'd have the walking papers signed and squared away before anyone would ever know what happened. He had to figure out how to guard himself against those eyes. They were absolute killers. Even as a grown man, Sam could make himself look sweet and innocent.

Sam smiled softly at his brother. He knew Dean didn't want to be in a hospital. Especially not so soon after their dad died in one. "Yeah, I'll track down a doctor. I haven't seen one since last night when I brought you here."

* * *

Once Sam had left the room, Dean began to think about what it was that was so important. He just hated the feeling he was forgetting something crucial.

_Maybe it was in the dream? What was in the dream? Rain, mountains and flowers. Ooh, threatening!_

Dean shook his head. What was wrong with him? Sam was the only one with the psychic dreams. He was trying to get something out of nothing. He finally had a dream where everything was nice and calm and what was he doing? Trying to make the pansies out to be devils, that's what he was doing! But then, there was that laugh…


	4. Too Much Soap and Not Enough Opera

**Update: I went through and fixed some errors in the previous chapters. Sorry it took a little longer than I had hoped to get this updated. I had to do a little research because I am not a doctor. So if any of this is pure crap instead of fact--please hold your hounds! I blame _those_ mistakes on the internet and the internet blames the media. Every other mistake is mine. They are all I own. I only get to tie the boys up in the basement every once in a while and even then I have to give them back!**

**A/N: For those of you who are waiting for So Not Into Psychics to be updated, all I can say is really soon! I was rather stumped in which direction to take it. I think have it now.**

**Please review!**

**Chapter Four: Too Much Soap and Not Enough Opera**

Sam walked through the room door with a doctor in tow. Boy, did he look pissed!

Stopping in front of the bed, Sam pointed at his brother, "Tell him!"

"I'm sorry Mr. Grove, you are not allowed to leave yet."

"What?!" Dean was about to throw a fit.

The doctor was not shying away. He had gotten used to this kind of treatment.

Dean almost apologized. No one should be forced to take care of people like him, but then he remembered how much doctors get paid to work with people like him and he decided to let the man earn his money.

"Why can't I leave?" Dean growled.

"There is plausible reason to believe your health is compromised. There is a possibility you have a grade three concussion. Though you lacked the post-traumatic amnesia, you were unconscious and suffered the inability to form coherent thoughts. "

"Sam, I may need you to translate this geek-speak because I only understand English. Doc, really just get to the point."

" Because of the rapid blow you received when you," the doctor looked to Sam," fell off the ladder, your brain may have accumulated bruises causing the tissue to swell. If this happens, your brain will push on your skull cutting off the mobility of blood that goes through the vessels in your brain. Lack of oxygen and glucose can cause str-"

"I get it. I'm concussed. Why can't I go?"

"I would like to monitor you for the next day or two. Maybe run some tests."

The doctor could see his patient wasn't about to give in. Therefore, he added, "It could cause you to have strokes. You are much too young to leave your family behind."

Dean flinched. He would never leave Sam behind. Not if he could help it. He hated it when Sam had left him to go to college. Death would be more permanent. Complying with the doctor's orders would be the only way Sam would be safe from that feeling of isolation and hurt. He nodded. "Okay."

* * *

"Saaa-uuum!"

"Dude, I'm right here."

"I'm bored."

Great. All Sam needed was a bored big brother right now. The doctor said Dean might become really cranky and have an increase in distractibility. Sam knew what a concussion was and what ensued, but he never imagined boredom and peevish complaining was on the list of after effects.

"You've been watching TV for two straight days. You have entertainment right in the palm of your hand and you say you are bored."

Dean looked into his brother's eyes and grinned. "Dude, do you know how dirty that sounded?"

Sam sighed and rolled his eyes. "I think you were dropped on your head when you were a baby."

"I _know_ you were dropped on your head." The older brother grinned wildly at the younger one.

"I'm sure you had something to do with it!" Both brothers chuckled.

Then the mood in the room turned serious. "Hey Dean? We're gonna, you know, take it easy when you get out of here, right? Just for a few more days. I don't want you to get hurt again."

Dean snorted. "I'm not fragile Sammy."

However, it took just one look at his little brother and he knew he couldn't win. Perhaps he should put his hand back over his eyes and pretend he was blind. Maybe those looks wouldn't affect him then.

"Alright, alright. No big mean poltergeists or werewolves. Promise."

Sam's features softened and a minute passed by awkwardly.

Dean broke the silence. "So, tell me Sam, what do you think of this guy?" He pointed the remote control at the TV screen.

The younger man looked up at the screen and studied it. Then turned to his sibling. "I gotta be honest Dean, he's not my type."

"Yeah, I forgot. You had a thing for Ken. Barbie's gonna be jealous."

"Shut up jerk."

"Always knew you were a bitch!" Dean retorted and his attention went back to the screen.

"Seriously Sam, this guy is filthy rich, has slept with every woman in town, has children with at least three of them and is hell-bent on getting revenge on a man he's had killed off twice because of a bad bet."

"You can tell all this from a half hour of watching it?"

Dean nodded. "They make sure to repeat all the subplots. Its so people who miss an episode can catch up."

"How do you know all this?"

Sam didn't miss his brother's blush.

"Awkward." Sam turned to the set once more.

"Tell me about it."

"Huh? No! You'll get addicted and I'll never be able to pull your bitch ass away from the TV."

"You're watching it." Sam smirked and continued watching the two women on the screen talk. The scene quickly went from two women business associates talking to stripping off each other's clothes and making out.

His jawed dropped as he looked from the screen, to his brother and back to the screen.

Dean pointed at the screen. "That's why I watch it Sammy."

The younger brother turned wide-eyed to his sibling and pointed accusingly. "How did you get porn channels in the hospital?"

"I swear it's not porn! They are soap operas and they run on daytime television, I'm tellin' ya!"

The show ran to commercials and Dean turned to look at his brother. Sam's eyes were still wide and mouth still dropped open. No one pulled off befuddled horror quite like Sam.

"You catchin' flies Sammy?"

"No. I-I just…"

"Sam, would you really be surprised if I could manage to get those channels in here?" Dean secretly enjoyed watching his brother's lack of ability to speak. He turned his attention to the commercials. They seemed more entertaining than his little brother as of current.

"Ever wonder about that Pillsbury Doughboy Sam?"

"I can't say that I have. Let me guess, you want to hunt him down." He knew his brother too well.

"He just invites himself to dinner and lives in your fridge. Sam, anyone that gets that close to yours buns should be taken out."

Sam thought he should really get the doctor. His brother was obviously still broken.

There was a moment of silence before Dean decided the sound of his voice would be more entertaining.

"Sam can I ask you something?"

Dean sounded serious. Whatever was on his mind, he would try to help. "Sure. Dean you know you can ask me anything."

"Why a ladder?"

"Huh?"

"You told the doctor I fell from a ladder."

"Yeah. And?"

"Well how did I fall? Did-did you push me? Sam did you try to kill me?"

Sam knew what his brother was doing now. It was a game they had played as children to pass the time in the hospital. Their dad told them what to tell the doctor so they would avoid CPS and the Donut Department and the boys would take turns elaborating the story in order to score some smiles and laughs from each other. It helped make the hospital trips suck less.

"You are such a jerk."

"Sammy, how could you try to kill your awesome big brother?"

"Come on Dean. If I were trying to kill you, I'd be really creative." Both Winchesters laughed. Dean falling from a ladder was inconceivable. Actually, the thought of Dean being on a ladder at all was completely laughable.

"Sam!"

"What? What? I didn't do anything!"

"Look at the screen." Dean whispered.

Sam turned to the screen, wondering why his brother had to whisper. The Snuggle commercial was running.

__

This was in my dream. The Snuggle commercials. Oh no! He's glaring with his evil little red and black eyes. I knew I should have hunted him.

Still whispering, Dean asked his brother, "Did you see that?"

"The fabric-softener bear?"

"Yeah. Did you see the red in his eyes?"

"What?" Then it hit Sam. He had mentioned it once before, after he went up against the Rawhead and had been electrocuted.

"We are not hunting the fabric-softener teddy Dean!"

Dean gave him his own version of a puppy dog look, but it didn't work.

"No. You promised you would take it easy."

"I said no poltergeists and werewolves. I never said anything about possessed commercial mascots."

"No." Sam knew the only way for this to end was to leave the room and sign the papers for his brother's release. Maybe the hospital was contributing to his brother's already crazy state. Best to put this place in the Impala's trail of dust.

* * *

"But Sam!" Dean's voiced keened on. He wondered why Sam had parked so far away, but pushed the thought back. He had a nasty to hunt and if his brother took extra precautions in parking his baby, so be it.

"Dean, it's not real! He's just a little mascot bear, like the energizer bunny." Sam noticed his brother had stopped walking beside him and he turned.

"Oh God! You didn't try to hunt down the energizer bunny did you?"

Dean's ears became visibly red. "How did you convince Dad?"

The older hunter flushed deeper.

"It was Dad's idea."

"Was this while I was at college?"

Dean nodded his head. He was never going to live this down. "We had settled down in Palo Alto for a while, right after you left, we wanted to keep an eye on you."

"Why?"

The older brother threw a look to his younger brother. "We've gone over this, you are important to us…I mean me." Dean corrected himself. It was hard to believe his Dad was gone. "When Dad was alive you were important to him too. You'd never been completely on your own before and we wanted to keep you safe from a distance."

Sam dropped his gaze and decided not to bring that subject up again. He still missed his father and knew it was painful for Dean to talk about him and the time while Sam had left them. He felt guilty for contributing to his brother's abandonment issues and promised himself he wouldn't do it again.

"Anyway, we were keeping our eyes peeled for small jobs in the area and one night when I was trying to sleep, I heard this thumping noise." Dean didn't bother to mention the sound of the thumping had freaked him out some. It was just too close to sounding like a human heart.

"And I noticed it was coming from the hall. Which made me feel slightly better it wasn't the neighbors." Dean cocked an eyebrow at his brother and smiled.

Sam just shook his head. His big brother's mind must have made permanent residence in the gutter.

"I woke Dad and we tracked the noise to the little sucker. We…uh…weren't fast enough. He just kept going and going and going…"

"You guys didn't get it?!"

Letting out an exasperated sigh, Dean answered, "No. He got away."

Dean looked up pleading. "See why we have hunt Snuggles?"

Sam thought a moment then shook his head. "No. We aren't doing it."

"What?! Why?"

"If you and Dad were taken out by stuffed bunny, what would a snuggly teddy do to us?" Sam asked completely deadpan. All he had to do was picture his dad and brother getting their asses handed to them by stuffed animals and he couldn't hold his laughter any longer.

"Son of a bitch Sam! Can't you do this one thing for me?"

Sam could see his brother's own impression of puppy dog eyes and it almost made him give in, just to make his brother happy.

"Not now okay? Maybe in a few weeks we'll check it out. When the doctor said that your head injury could lead to strokes, I was really worried about you."

"Stop being such a girl."

"No Dean. I only get one big brother. I'm not going to loose you over something this stupid."

Dean huffed and stalked off to the Impala.

__

If only Dean understood how much he means to me…

Dean's heart had swelled when he heard his brother tell him he still needed him. But, he really needed this hunt. Maybe he would wait a few weeks, if it would make Sam happy.

**See the conveniently large Review button? You should push it. You know you want too. *shakes head with sheepish grin plastered on face* I feel like a review junkie...**


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